Big Wigs at Los Angeles Dodgers HQ opened their Saturday morning papers, flipped to the sports section, glanced at the top sports headline, and immediately spit out their coffee in cartoonish shock.

“I don’t know what we’re going to do,” said a flustered Dodgers finance analyst who preferred to remain anonymous. “I don’t know who made the typo, the Shohei Ohtani contract was supposed to be 700 million yen, not US dollars!”

“We’re going to have to make some colossal budget adjustments for 2024. Fans may see an increase in prices at the concession stands.”

Rumor has it the members of Guggenheim Baseball Management, the ownership group of the Dodgers, spent the entire afternoon and evening at Dodger Stadium, stripping copper wires in lesser-used suites and lounges.

Congratulations on your historic contract, Shohei Ohtani!