In an unexpected turn of events, NCAA enforcement officials discovered that the sign stealing scandal was even more extensive than previously thought.

An unassuming storage closet at the University of Michigan stadium, known as “The Big House” to fans, revealed a mountain of evidence.

“This is unreal,” said an NCAA enforcement officer who could not be named due to the ongoing investigation. “We’ve never seen anything like this. We had no idea it went this deep.”

“You can see where it starts,” said the hard-boiled NCAA officer. “You steal a single sign to impress a dame. Then another dame comes along. And another. You get the picture.”

Best of luck to Michigan and to the NCAA staff!