The internet was briefly broken today when the Toronto Raptors selected guard Gradey Dick in the first round of the NBA Draft!

Raptors fans and fans of Mr. Dick rushed the team website to get their hands on the next hottest basketball jersey.

“Gradey Dick is my new hero, man! As soon as [NBA Commissioner Adam] Silver announced his first name, I pre-ordered 10 jerseys,” gushed a cool young adult. “Me and my friends are going to wear these to school every day. This is going to change my life.”

The Raptors reportedly intend to use the increased revenue from Gradey Dick jersey sales to upgrade Scotiabank Arena. “Hopefully the jersey sales will cover the renovations to meet Adam Silver’s ‘state-of-the-art arena’ demands,” groused a staff member who wished to remain anonymous.

“It’s bittersweet,” said sources close to the new Raptor. “Gradey is really glad the people are excited about his career–but he wishes that fans were excited about his basketball skills, work ethic, and the positive attitude he’ll bring to the team. Or even just the awesome suit he wore to the draft. You’d think someone could have just said, ‘hey, great suit,’ or something. All the press wanted to do was come up with crass headlines. Grow up.”

“OMG this jersey says ‘dick’ on it,” tweeted a college sophomore. “lol.”